6/12/2016 1 Comment
Beginning again (again)
God’s loyal love couldn’t have run out,
his merciful love couldn’t have dried up.
They’re created new every morning.
How great your faithfulness!
I’m sticking with God (I say it over and over).
He’s all I’ve got left.
Golly, this was a hard week. I messed up over and over again. I could detail all the myriad ways that I could have done better, but I have decided that it is probably best at this point to focus on the positive and reframe my thinking for the week ahead. I want to spend my mental energy on changing things today, and in the future.
This is a big deal for me. Historically, I spend a lot of time beating myself up. I regret a million things and remember all my failings and then some, but I've come to understand that this sort of cyclical thinking is keeping me stuck. It's not only completely futile (clearly, I can't go back and change a darn thing), it's also pointedly self-centered (I'm thinking about me, me, me ALL THE TIME). It's also a desperate attempt to control the future. In essence, when I insist upon dwelling in the past (and not only the past, but the tainted past), I decide to take a little, or a lot, of God's work away from Him and, instead, hold tightly to it.
I've realized that I have an opportunity to choose Faithfulness. I have an opportunity to practice Trust in a way I haven't before. I have an opportunity.
So this week, I proclaim that God is not only able to, but that God WILL, redeem the past AND I confess my utter need and reliance on God for future peace. Most of all, I give God the Present. I give God the Now. I give God this moment. Here.
That peace I want, the relationships I desire, the healing I crave - all of that can come to be only if I make the decision to "stick with God. I say it over and over. He's all I've got left.
How great is thy Faithfulness, Lord, unto me.
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